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Get Buddha’s Big Wood
If you and loverboy bicker too much, let me enlighten you as to why. It’s because your Red Buddha isn’t in the southeast with big wood. At least, so says Ms. Shindhuja, feng shui astrologer extraordinaire.
I love consulting mystics. It’s so…mystical. I remember the first time I saw a psychic. Madame Alexander told me, “Snails. Toenail clippings. Smoke. Half a cheese sandwich. Aurora is in the tabernacle. Place seven fresh blades of grass within your sheets and leave them unlaundered for seven days. Your desires manifest themselves in enormous blight. Catch the raven.”
I spent weeks trying to unravel the mystery of her words. Only later did I realize that glass of water she kept sipping wasn’t Perrier.
Ms. Shindhuja’s prognostication is equally inscrutable.
“To avoid a rocky relationship, go for a Red Buddha. Buddha. He is said to carry the sufferings and sorrows of others in his bag. Red colour represents fire and 3 is big wood. So here fire exhausts the wood element and 3 is under control.”
I couldn’t have said it better myself. That will be $5 please. Leave it in the fishbowl on your way out.
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