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Friends First
First, what dating isn’t:
* A sexual opportunity
* What you do to impress others
* A conquest
Every blissful relationship is built on a solid friendship. Not on awesome sex, religious beliefs or common dreams and goals — all those things can change over time - the only thing you can count on to remain is a strong and loving friendship.
It is very difficult to be lovers first and then try to become friends second. So, how can you date in a way that encourages the building of a friendship first?
- Save any sort of physical connection (hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc.) until AFTER you have already become close friends and are ready for the next stage. It should be RARE that you make it past the friendship stage.
- Don’t go out for “romantic” dates early on. Dates such as: charming restaurants, lakeside picnics or to the opera.
- Do go out on “friendship” dates like: bowling, eating pizza, playing tennis and volunteer work.
- Avoid discussions early in the dating stage like how many children you want, what you are looking for in a husband/wife, deep secrets that you would only tell your closest friends.
- Use caution in telling your friends if you feel strongly about the person you are dating. (Friends have a way of spreading secrets and ruining relationships). Don’t let friends push your relationship beyond a friendship until you know it is time.
- Do not buy your friend expensive presents or items that can construed as “romantic.”
- Don’t invite your friend on a weekend getaway (unless it is a group activity).
- Refer to your friend as “friend.” Avoid calling them your “boyfriend,” “girlfriend,” “significant other” or other non-friend title until you have built a really strong friendship and are ready to get more serious in the relationship.
Dating. It is done best as friends first.
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