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How to Undo “I Do”


This information comes too late for Jennifer Wilbanks, but perhaps it will be useful for other prospective brides before they snap and have to check themselves into a hospital.

As a public service to jittery brides-to-be everywhere, we offer this press release from Brides magazine.

NEW YORK, July 13 /PRNewswire/ — BRIDES magazine September/October 2005 special issue Marrying at 20, 30, 40 addresses the phenomenon of cold feet and helps brides-to be determine if the jitters they feel are normal or a symptom of something more serious. The issue offers brides examples of commonplace angst plus advice on recognizing when its time to call off the wedding.

BRIDES magazine Editor in Chief Millie Martini Bratten says “Jennifer Wilbanks the so called runaway bride brought to light some of the anxiety a bride-to-be may feel about her upcoming wedding. Feeling nervous is normal, but it’s important to recognize when nerves are overshadowing happiness. It’s far less painful to break an engagement that it is to dissolve a marriage.”

BRIDES magazine and New York psychiatrist John W. Jacobs MD offers the following advice to nervous brides when evaluating their feelings:

WARNING SIGNS

  • Persistent doubt about a conflict between you and your fiance
  • Being withdrawn or grumpy. This can indicate second thoughts that you
    are not articulating
  • Indecision about choosing a date, location, etc.
  • Lack of Interest in wedding planning


ANALYZING THE ANGST: ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS

  • Can you resolve your difference?
  • Have you sowed your wild oats?
  • Are you stressed about the wedding or about the marriage itself?

GETTING GUIDANCE

  • Start counseling as early in the planning stages as possible - before
    the invitations are ordered

If a bride-to-be identifies her feelings and realizes her frozen feet cannot be thawed, BRIDES magazine recommends the following on breaking the news and tips on how to undo the “I do’s.”

HOW TO BREAK THE NEWS

  • Tell the fiance the news in private and with all the kindness and
    humility you can muster. Give as much detail as possible without
    placing blame for the break-up, even if you think it’s his fault.
  • Let your parents know. Explain your actions and give them as many
    concrete examples as possible.
  • The rest of the world is not your problem. If you constantly try to
    meet the expectations of others, you’ll lose control over your own
    life.

TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS

  • Officiant - Call and explaining the situation personally.
  • Florist, caterer etc- Check your contract to see if it offers refunds.
  • Bridal party - You call the girls; he calls the guys.
  • Guests - If there’s enough time send out a printed card announcing the
    news. If it is short notice guests should be called and personally
    told the news. No emailing or leaving messages
  • Wedding announcements - Phone the local paper to cancel it. If you
    can’t reach someone, send an email and ask for a confirmation.
  • Gifts - Send the gifts back with a short note of thanks. No other
    explanation is necessary other than “the wedding has been cancelled.”

The September/October 2005 issue of BRIDES magazine is available on newsstands on July 15, 2005. For more information log on to www.brides.com. BRIDE’S magazine is the leading Bridal publication in America, published by the Fairchild Bridal Group.

Source: BRIDES magazine

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